I know this tittle may seem redundant, but it is the only thing that sounded right as I have been contemplating this post. Pain is real and it is a thief. When succumbed to it can steal your happiness, joy, friends, family, job, and any number of other things. It is physical and it is emotional, the latter sometimes the more difficult to deal with. Pain has kept me from writing this blog for the last few weeks and really what prompted me to choose this as my current topic.
Physical pain is awful. Whether it is a paper cut or a broken bone, pain can ruin your day. Physical pain has become an intimate part of my life for the past 2 years. I have dealt with mind numbing, screaming pain (my two spinal taps come to mind) and I have dealt with constant, just under the surface pain that you almost get used to. For going on three weeks I have been dealing with a migraine that extends down into the left side of my neck. I have not had a migraine like this is in probably 15 years. Physical pain is like that, it can hit you like a ton of bricks, be on you and then knock you on your butt. It has drained me physically and made me very unmotivated, thus the lack of blog posts. I also have constant physical pain in my feet. My neuropathy creates a tingling, prickling pain in my feet all the time. There are times when it hurts more, sometimes it hurts less, but it is always there. To be very plain, it just sucks. It sucks to not have a single day that you don't feel some kind of pain. Like I said before, physical pain is a thief that steals your motivation, physical activity, and emotional well being. While you might not be able to do anything about the pain your are feeling, you can choose how to respond to it. Even if I have to be in bed, I can choose how I treat my family and friends as I am going through that pain.
Emotional pain is trickier. It can hurt just as much or more than physical pain. Often physical pain can be the precursor to emotional pain. I remember being in so much physical pain that emotionally I thought things would never get better, that I would never walk or move my legs again, that my life was essentially over. Emotional pain can't be seen by others and is often not understood by those around us. Emotional pain is an especially vicious thief in our lives. It definitely steals our peace of mind, our joy, our love of life, friends, family members, and our ability to forgive. I have people I do still consider friends as well as family that have let emotional pain take over their lives. They have let things that have happened in their lives devastate them to the point that they are bitter and unable to forgive others. They have cut loved ones out of their lives because they think they just can't forgive. The Bible teaches us that in order to receive forgiveness we must be willing to forgive as well. These people that just can't seem to find forgiveness in their hearts seem to forget that they have probably done things that need to be forgiven as well. They let whatever pain they have experienced rob them of the joy of forgiving and receiving forgiveness in their lives. One thing I have realized is that when we think of having to forgive others, sometimes the person that we REALLY need to forgive is ourselves. You have to forgive yourself for your past wrongs, and only then can you start to heal yourself of the pain you are feeling.
Definitely the way you CHOOSE to react to emotional pain can either reduce or enhance your pain level. I have seen people that have gone through things that are the most emotionally painful things a person can go through and come out of it either totally wrecked, or have used it to make them stronger. I know people that have lost children, but choose to still find joy, still have purpose, and still be strong because they know that is what their loved one would have wanted. I have seen others use it as an excuse to check out of life totally. I have seen people who had horribly abusive childhoods come out as great parents and determined to give their children what they never had and I have seen people use it as an excuse to be terrible parents. What bothers me the MOST are people that because of their pain say that they simply CANNOT change. That because of whatever circumstances they have gone through they can't forgive, or can't be happy, or can't find joy. I hate to be this blunt, but that is a bunch of bull. If I know anything about the way God made human beings is that he made the human heart malleable, able to turn from darkness to light, and able to CHANGE if we CHOOSE to. The key is that we have to choose it, we have to choose not to give in to our pain. People who choose to let the pain rule their hearts do it because they get some kind of pay off for doing it. It can be because they get attention, or self satisfaction, or even self esteem from this persona of a damaged person. What they don't realize is there is so much more peace front letting go of the pain and working through it.
Now, after saying all of that, I know it is not easy. It is not easy dealing with physical pain. At this exact moment I am feeling some pretty intense pain, and it hurts, it wears me down, it is definitely not easy to deal with, but it can be done. Emotional pain is even harder to get through. I have deep seeded emotional issues that I still struggle with. Some are always there, just under the surface like the pain in my feet and some things that I think I have licked then hit me like a ton of bricks like my migraine and I have to find a way to get through it. It is hard, it is work, but it is worth it to free yourself of anger and bitterness, and unforgiveness. In the end it is those things that will actually damage your soul, not the pain itself.
